I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
