No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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