btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
