All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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