i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
