i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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