im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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