What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
