I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
