white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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