Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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