So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
