Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Randomize
