I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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