i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
