he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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