Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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