Ambien. No doubt about it.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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