if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
