Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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