i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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