I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
