tell your sister to shave her snatch
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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