I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
