I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
