No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
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