Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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