I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
