And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
