"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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