Is it because I queefed?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize