Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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