I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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