Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
