I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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