I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
