Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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