I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
one might say we're banned from that church
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Randomize
