So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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