Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
