i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
