Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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