I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
honey bunches of taint.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
