This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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