I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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