Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
