I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
