Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
