he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
