Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
