Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
